I wonder why they call him Minnesota Shorts?

Listen you stupid chief!

OH MY GOSH you guys, they are remaking THE SWEENEY as a film. It is going to be set in the modern day, so no big hair and bigger pant cuffs, but I bet it will still be full of DAMN GOOD COPPAHS.

I am optimistic about the project, because the video shows the director just totally getting it. Yes your gun still has bullets! Run! Bang! Run! Bang bang bang!

Relaxing the mind with origami

Sometimes you just need to unwind! Relax! Settle down for goshsakes! How about with some paper folding?

Okay but don't actually try to make this thing, that will turn you into a lunatic, and undo all of your relaxation efforts. Let's not go crazy.

Her voice is hypnotic. And foooooold.

I could never be your rock critic

Strong opinions about music have led me into trouble more times than I can count, and I tend to change my mind about these things over time anyway, which makes fastidiousness seem silly. (ssssss.)

I think that in many cases I develop a nuanced connection to the material over time - exalting the positive while gently forgiving the negative (welcome to yet another bad boyfriend analogy).

And still, some artists creep up on me and immediately I just want to screeeeeam rather than listen to them. Today I tried out a new album - a free download, so no names because that would be unforgivable ingratitude - which is supposed to be an r&b record, about which I thought, "hooray! ", forgetting that r&b no longer exists and instead we're faced with music that makes you feel like you're covered with hot slime. What I really want to say is "BARF BARF BARF X1000 NEGATIVE EIGHT STARS PLEASE NEVER MAKE SOUNDS AGAIN." But that might negate someone else's beautiful experience with the hot slime album, so I won't. It's agony.

Related: I went to an art show a couple of months ago where all I wanted to do was scream "WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE IT ABOUT BOOBS?" But I waited until I got home instead, which I felt was evidence of growth.

Questions for a hypothetical conversation with Steve Coogan

This is the face he would make during the interview.

1. Having built up and torn down many characters, some of them over the course of decades, do you ever find yourself slipping into them accidentally, in your mind?
2. Do you think of yourself as a character, noticing your own traits and the way that you speak and walk and dress and so forth? Does thinking about how to be different characters make you more self-conscious? Is this how you ended up playing versions of yourself professionally?
3. Do you prefer playing characters you've created, or is it more relaxed to let someone else write you a part which you can then leave behind when the project's over, eg Roderick the water rat? (Could you ever accidentally slip into Roderick?)
4. Are there aspects of your characters that are aspirational? Do you wish you knew as much about wasps as Tommy Saxondale, for example? Do you wish you were as emotionally resilient as Alan? (Or maybe you do have these things? Would you be able to help me with the raccoons in my shed?)
5. Do you ever wish people would stop laughing and just take you seriously for once?

OH ALSO THIS (1 of 12)

Nick Lowe - "Country Girl", Glastonbury Festival, 25th June 2011

Robot Owen Wilson is Freaking Me Out

One day I will forget what humans look like and just go around hugging mailboxes and shaking hands with trees all day. Doesn't sound too bad.