Tuesday, September 27, 2005

10 in the swear jar, Mr. Waits.

Track list:

1. 10 in the swear jar - accordion solo! - fort awesome drunk tank/helsabot

Comments: 'fort awesome' is basically spoken word, so, you know, bonus! Helsabot is apparently his name. He's an alcoholic robot, we think. And he wants to know if your pants ever just fall off. I love this. Everyone, I want this album for Christmas. My elderly relatives will LOVE it.

2. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - howl - sympathetic noose

Comments: I enjoy that this band is a big lie. They're a bit sad bastard, with an old-school sounding lazer-rock name. Jonelle says the song is okay. I agree. I think they might get kicked out of the club if they keep this whining up. Jonelle says she'd listen to this in a sunny apartment on a Sunday afternoon. That'll never happen.

3. Giant Drag - hearts and unicorns - high friends in places

Comments: All too real. Hmm. Music to stomp bugs to.

4. Bruce Cockburn - big circumstance - where the death squad lives

Comments: it's a classic, so it would be wrong to criticize. I've got to remember that this isn't a new album though, because that's just embarrassing. Jonelle loves it and is floored. I like the funky guitar.

5. Transparencies - transparencies - I'll quit if I want to

Comments: Ha, they're a Christian band. They're no Danielson Family... but then who is, really. Actually, it's not bad. You just have to try and ignore the no swearing, and focus on how it sounds recorded in a garage. These boys could teach Jessica Simpson a thing or two about how to claim to be religious and not flash your boobs drunkenly. They have the knack.

Important topics covered:
we're trapped in a supply closet, while everyone else is having free food at the AGM. Oh well, it's overrated. We're so alone, and we invite you to visit us. You don't. Coward. A debate on the sexiness of the female form vs. the male form that isn't really a debate. Men are funny when they're naked, not sexy. No, just funny. In fact, put a naked guy in a movie and you don't even need to tell jokes. The new proliferation of yoga makes for unfair standards of flexibility. No, I can't touch my forehead to my knee, jackass. Being a rabid Bruce Cockburn fan is difficult. But the name is undeniably funny.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

the snug jockeys

The Tracks:

1. Veronica Lipgloss & the Evil Eyes - bleed to the beat - The Witch's Dagger

Comments: um, yeah. Jonelle's ears are bleeding, does that count? She hates this band so much, she's covered their album with little hearts. Man, this sux, capital 'x'. My pick is coming up next though, so I'm trying to console myself with that.

2. The Magic Numbers - long legs - The Magic Numbers

Comments: This band is deliciously chubby. Jonelle feels uncomfortable with that comment - she's not saying anything, but I can tell by the squirming in the seat. I love this band - their music, their outfits, their long flowing hair. They consist of two brother and sister teams - wicked. They're like the white stripes times two, only happy and with more tambourine.

3. John Wilkes Booze - gonna die tonight - telescopic eyes glance the future sick

Comments: And... it's over.

4. Gravy Train - pussy sauce - Are you wigglin?

Comments: Aint nobody doesn't like this band. They're really dirty though. We were going to play 'hump lites', but due to an unscheduled itchy trigger finger, we're playing this one instead. So now guess who's going to have to announce the title of the track on the air. That's right, it's Jonelle. Because I am a prude.

5. The Sub Humans - life sure can suck - demo/ep

Comments: Grr. I love these three chord wonders. We'll see you next week peoples.

Topics covered: Growing Up Gotti - the chinchilla coat episode. Embarrassing events of the past week. The perils of reading - don't even ask. We've seen some weird movies this week. Listening to people doin' it in the apartment next door - it's a sport, like fishing. Our new band name: the snug jockeys. And we will dress as jockeys. Brilliant!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

pop violence

The Tracks:

1. Vailhalen - pop violence - We Fill the Cracks

comments: Like the bells. Other than that, meh. It's not 'tweaking Jonelle's nipples'. At least it's short.

2. The Belushis - Rich in Broken Glass - Ether Bunny

comments: Jonelle likes it two minutes in when the guy drunkenly scowls 'yeah!'. I'd have to agree. It's a bit sex pistols, which hey, it's been done, by, um, the sex pistols. But they've broken up, and that one guy is dead, so who's gonna complain. There's also a discussion here about what kind of ether they're talking about - we're going to have to agree to disagree.

3. Sunset Rubdown - Snake's got a leg - I'll believe in anything, you'll believe in anything

comments: It's like painful techno. Does it have a beat? Who knows. Wow, this man is wailing girlishly. I like it because it's awful. Jonelle just thinks it's awful. Next!

4. The Spicoli's - blood sweat and beers - blood sweat and beers

comments: Wow, spandex rock. Aside from the bad grammar... these guys suck. Just for the record, they're like an old, low budget Blink-182. I'm not a fan of Blink-182. Hey, have you seen the new Backstreet Boys video? This is the song that should go with that video.

5. Mon Electric Bijou - Bullets in the Penguin - Raging Queen

comments: Can you feel the rage? Neither can I. This is one sad bastardesque queen. Jonelle's not watching me so I'm going to say that I already love this track. In fact, if you're a fan of the misery rock with the sad, sad, badly-singing men, give this sucker a try. Could be a good wedding song if you're trying to get everyone to go home early.

Today's topics:
Emily crashes her bike again, pill swallowing for fun and profit, some community announcements, problems with communication, sleeping in cars, the Backstreet Boys, addicted to bad television.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Critically Ashamed

1. You Say Party, We Say Die - hit the floor - cold hands! hot bodies!

Comments: um, chanting. And man is this short. Their CD release party is happening Sept. 10th at Pat's Pub, 9pm. Alternately, on Sept. 11th at Mesa Luna at 7:30pm, granny.

2. Orange - welcome to the world of Orange - ghetto-blasta

Comments: I like this, and so does Jonelle. She says "sounds like Green Day... and I like Green Day." This is my pick. They just wanna scream and let it all out. Well who doesn't.

3. Escape Goats - Critically Ashamed - Hit me gently, in the head

Comments: This is a slo-mo ballad. Or, Jonelle says, a coma-ballad. Whatever, I love it because it's so appropriate, not to mention 5 minutes long. It also has some swearing in it, which is surprising, because this guy sounds so mild-mannered. Jonelle compares it to Marcy Playground, and she has kind of a snarky tone, so that can't be good. I kinda like it though - "who let the dogs out, I need the dogs in, how could you do this to me, someone chain them up again." Lyrical gold. Also, there are four stars in quotation marks on the album cover, which is nicely self-aggrandizing.

4. Neon Blonde - Neon Blonde - Headlines

Comments: We like the beat. This is kinda cool - like disjointed techno with an angry girl providing the vocals.

Topics discussed today:
Reality TV, judges, Bob Barker, Jonelle smokes badly, I ride my bike into a garage door and get clubbed in the head, I watch Malibu's Most Wanted; sadly, Jonelle's already seen that one. We're both lesser human beings for it.