Tuesday, December 20, 2005

five more sleeps

Track list:

1. Innerstance Beatbox - your eyes are like ufos my darling - theme from the bastard squad

Comments: woop, six minutes long.

2. Modernettes - get it straight - barbra

3. Pretty train crash - pretty train crash - taste you

4. Secret Mommy - very rec - ice rink

Comments: this is completely odd. But it has a beat, and I can dance to it! Then again, let's face it... I can dance to anything. But anyway, yes, this is so cool. It must have taken ages to do, and it's actually

5. Virgin Prunes - Pagan Lovesong - DJ Morpheus I can't live without my radio

Comments: who cares, I'm only playing this to mock DJ Morpheus for his matrix-inspired name. But we have been told that this album is totally awesome by our music director, so you know, maybe it's good. But we'll never know. It's the morpheus factor.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Bo Didley Squat

Track List:

1. The Reatards - Not Fucked Enough - Pretty Baby

Comments: I like this, but I can't understand the lyrics at all. We were hoping to be offended, but I guess that's not going to happen. Oh wait, he's leaving her... he has to move on. I see the light! Anyway, it's deliciously low-fi. As in really bad. Jonelle says it sounds like he's getting run over by a car.

2. Didley Squat - burning alive making a living - my better half

Comments: My first thoughts: what the bloody ass is this? Jonelle likes it though. I don't think it's road trip listenable. Obviously they're very serious about their art, and you have to respect that. Or else.

3. Modernettes - get it straight - barbra

Comments: I really like this, even if they did misspell barbra. In fact, this goes straight into the track list for the end of year best-of show. No wait, they spelled it right! We love you so much, Modernettes.

4. Funkservice International - a post modern life - life is good

Comments: Ooh, this would be great if I owned more turtlenecks and was lighter on my feet. Since I'm a lumbering jackass, it's not something I'll be listening to at home. I do like it though, in a voyeuristic kind of way.

Monday, December 05, 2005

the loud "whoops" of incompetence

It came to my attention yesterday that I had quite an exclusive deal going regarding the comments section of this blog. In that nobody could use it. Sorry about that. Anyway, now it's been fixed, so feel free to abuse the comments feature to your heart's content, provided you're not trying to sell us 'old man boner-pills' (I hear that's what the kids are calling them these days). We don't need boners, and we don't have access to any old men who need them either, so just back off. I hope that's the last time I'll have to scold you about that.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

chicken critical

Catch of the day:

1. The Teeth - carry the wood - mercy mercy pudding pie

Comments: 10 minutes! Yesssss. Wow, this has some cool country style sounds to it. It's so bizarre, we love it. It's sort of the whiner's lament. Which might be a bit redundant, but whatever. It's actually a bit drunken, so that's nice too. Sort of a 'why won't anyone call me, I'm such a loser' vibe, and who can't relate to that. Well, you know who those people are, and let's face it, it's easier to just avoid contact with them. So damn optimistic all the time. Annoying. I also cite the Kinks as an inspiration for this band. Bigtime.

2. Beef Terminal - anger do not enter - no robbers no kidnappers no fires no floods

Comments: Ahh, hipsters. Does it mean airports, some sort of cow airport, or is it about dying cattle? Or that the meat will kill you? The mystery is killing me. Seriously, is this completely instrumental? It's certainly very sad. I bet they're from Toronto and have rich parents and very little reason to be sad. But some of the saddest people are people who are sad because they aren't sad enough. They're called 'artists', and every once in a while you meet one, up here, at the university. Aww. That was insulting.

3. The Subliminator - recalibrated - forbidden fruit

Comments: I know what you're thinking. What the cornpone is this? Shut up, it's brilliant. You have now been indoctrinated into a cult. It's the cult of poor audio editing skills, which isn't exactly prolific, but it consists of a ridiculously huge and diverse brotherhood. my brain! my brain! i'm not accustomed to the pain!

4. Controller Controller - x-amounts - poison/safe

Comments: woo hoo, I like this song. Jonelle likes it too. It's not about venus, I hear some musical tones I recognize but not in an overly formulaic way, nobody seems overly sad. In fact, it's girls acting tough. I love songs with tough-guy posturing, especially when it's women striking the pose. It's sort of a Nancy Sinatra, these boots are made for walking thing, but for the now. More overtly angry, which is fine.

All done. Slap. Slap. Time to go home.

3 and a half hours sweet hours

Until utter meltdown. Hello! Tonight is our show. We will be talking about a variety of things. Like getting in trouble at work for having a lax attitude and strolling in ten minutes late every day for a year! Or more! I think I deserve a ribbon for avoiding a scolding for this long. It's a record worthy of Guinness, or possibly something stronger which will now dull my embarrassment. I don't mind getting in trouble, but formulating my excuses in front of people? That's so obvious! They can see me doing it! Look to the left, stammer, look to the left...
I have to also say that this is our last November show, which means it's the end of a (very short) era. So you should listen - listening is vital! Anything could happen!
#1 will probably have some very important things to tell you, maybe regarding when your Christmas catalogues are coming in the mail. I keep myself on a strict regimen of flyers for the whole month, to distract myself from my caloric intake, so if I don't get my army and navy catalogue today, somebody's going to hear about it! Thankfully, babs 1 stays on top of these things, so that no one has to get violent.
I'm sure there are some other important things for us to talk about, but we'll work that out when we're up against the wire. It all flows so quickly that way.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

holy microphone, batman!

Le Playlist:

1. Holy Microphone - Goodbye Television Girl - Sally's On Fire

Comments: love it. The album cover is delightful also. It's refreshingly catchy and not at all sad-bastardish. They're from Toronto, which is unfortunate, but they're good, so we'll try to ignore it.

2. Turn Me On Dead Man - god bless the electric freak - Apocalypse Rock

Comments: It does sound electric. Is this what the apocalypse is going to sound like? It might not scare me so bad if it does, because there's really nothing so shocking about this. Actually it's a bit generic. I may not notice the apocalypse. Well, maybe the immolation part, I might notice that.

3. Fatal If Swallowed - cfur is the new pink (compilation) - Wrongly Motivated

Comments: They're Prince George's Rancid ripoff. If you can picture that in your miracle ear, you're there. Who can blame them really, they're trapped under several feet of snow. Poor kids. Gotta do something to stay busy.

4. The Dropouts - After School Specials - Sucker Punch

Comments: we were liking this until the girl started singing. I hate to be uncharitable, but I think she might have been chosen more for her looks than for her vocal talents. Although her vocals might be great for, uh, L7 maybe. Whereas the backing band sounds like the B52s. Maybe you'll like it, but we're only so-so. The song is great, but the singing grates a bit.

5. Ron Sexsmith - cobblestone runway - Gold in them Hills

Comments: Jonelle is going to punch me now, because this is my pick, and I'm a suck. Oh Ron, I heart U. Ow!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

nashville princess

Track list:

1. Ashley MacIsaac - Pride - Bitch

Comments: pack it up and go home, Ashley. That's what I think. Unless you're going to express 'bitch' through fiddle, which clearly you aren't. Jerk. Pure curiosity led me to pick this song. Pure crap, is all I can say.

2. Princess - Princess - Ra Ra

Comments: wow, I love it! The waves, the malfunctioning mixer, the man singing as though he's being stepped on. Princess, you win the prize for most bizarre song of the evening so far.

3. Nashville Pussy - Get Some - Meaner than my Mama

Comments: playing this song led to a long discussion about getting whacked in the head with a boob, and whether it's worse if it's your own boob or someone else's. I think my own, but Jonelle's not so sure. Thankfully, Nashville Pussy is no longer on tour in our area, so I probably won't have to decide anytime soon.

4. Bronx Cheerleader - Tough Guy Cliches - Crap Shooter's Blues in 'A'

Comments: sad, but sounds like it could be played in an italian restaurant at the same time. Crooning men. If you like that sort of thing, give it a go.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

squeak squeak squeak


1. Skippy and the Bellbottoms - What Happened to Turn Signals? - Life looks better in the fall.

Comments: this song is proof that all it takes to get played on our show is a completely random name/album name/song title. Any of the three is good, but in combination, it's inevitable - we'll play your song just so that we can say it on the air. I like this song, it's conventionally sad-bastard-ish. Haaaaarmonica. Jonelle is relaxed by it, which is good, because ten minutes ago she was a flaming ball of rage. Rage!

2. Evil Doers - welcome to the show - psychopath

Comments: considering the title/band name, this band sounds way too friendly. Jonelle says the only evil thing is that the song is only 2 minutes long. That is evil! Otherwise, she likes it. I'm kinda iffy. It's not bad.

3. Mr. Something Something - the edge - sound the alarm

Comments: they're ska! they're arty! They're arthouseska. And somebody just had a bad breakup, possibly. Maybe not. Anyway, trumpets, so that's alright. Panflute, too!

4. The Unireverse - plays the music - tomorrow never knows

Comments: I think the songwriting is sub-par. The lyrics are a bit stale. But otherwise, it's pure genius.

Monday, October 31, 2005



1. The Perms - Lorazapan
2. Snatches of Pink - Will I Feed Will It Feed
3. Patti Smith - Birdland
4. Groovy Food - Absinthe Minded
5. Rammstein - Benzin
6. Sharp Like Knives - No Skills

Hey hey, we're pre-recorded. So you get the track list early. Happy Birthday John Candy!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Alone together

Hi, it's Emily. And I'm alone today. So alone. So here, unadorned, is the track list, which I made up all by myself.

1. The Maughams (Mooms!) - secret boyfriend
2. roll gypsy roll - bought with bad taste
3. messer chups - satan jeans
4. bad flirt - welcome to the awkward party
5. you say party we say die - midnight snack
6. bellini - fuck the mobile phone

That's all I have time for. See you next week suckers.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Thoughts on this Tuesday, feels like Monday.

Things I'd like to cover tonight.

Comment spam on this blog! Should I be flattered? No. I shouldn't. But I might be anyway.

Job hunting. It is perhaps the most tiresome, depressing, stupid and debasing thing I have ever been involved in. "Oh, but I can type! Please let me scrape gum off the underside of your desk, lady-in-a-suit!" On the upside, a cunning plan may allow me to work half as much for the same pay as I'm currently getting. It's called temp work, and I find it extremely seductive.

Pink things raising money for breast cancer awareness, and why we're all whores for buying them. No! I will not wear another ribbon! No, dammit! And it's not just the ribbon. It's everywhere. I object. I smell a marketing ploy, and it's not exactly sea-breeze fresh.

I'm probably about to do something very embarrassing on my way out the door on my bike, so maybe we'll talk about that too. It never gets old.

And then, obviously, Jonelle will have her usual bevvy of bizarre trivia to bring up. See you at seven!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

We're the cream.


1. Harvey Danger - little by little... - Cream and Bastards Rise

Comments: I like it quite alot. I'd like to add my own 'doo-wop' lines to it. Jonelle likes it too.

2. Rasputina - a radical recital - Rats

Comments: It's live, which I always enjoy. There's a Zeppelin cover and a Heart cover on this album, which is awesome. I like it. Girls with cellos.

Update - Sunday, October 16th: Since playing this song, I've heard through the grapevine that I'm a loser because I like Rasputina. I think that's a bit harsh. At SWB, we don't judge, we just play at random and hope for the best. Can you blame us for trying to derive enjoyment out of the result, whatever it is? Besides, I always think that if you're devoting energy to cutting people down because of their poor musical taste (as in "aw man, the Eagles? Please be kidding."), you're clearly bitter because you wish you were a star, or possibly a rock journalist. I know, because I'm the same way. I'm just saying, please, try to restrain yourselves. And by all means, if you have better ideas, pass them along. We'll probably ignore them because we're radio snobs and we're lazy, but you might as well try.
I'm the devil.

3. Dirty Tricks - demerits - vaccination

Comments: This song hurts me a bit. It's like strong burning coffee that gives me an ulcer. I'm not in love with it, in other words.

Topics covered: Amateur surgery - did you know that alcohol thins the blood? It's true!
Planned halloween costumes include Antonio and Melanie. I'm getting the flu shot, and Jonelle isn't. When I get hit by a bus, it'll all come out even.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Jonelle the Popmaster

Playlist fer today:

1. Nob Dylan and the Nobsoletes - Positively 12 Stiff Dylans - Tombstone Blues

Comments: dylan covers done loud and low-fi. I actually wrote 'low-fu' there at first, which is my new martial art. The art of low-fu. Jonelle likes this, and so do I. We might revisit this again later. It's just that good.

2. Corduroy Kid - The Sleep Project - Time Lost (we think)

Comments: Jabba the Hutt's digestive system records an album. And here we are in his clicky bowel!

3. Prince Paul - Instrumental - My Friend the Popmaster

Comments: Wow, the swearing! I thought this was instrumental! Anyway, I kind of love it. Jonelle is the popmaster. There's some culturally insensitive stuff in here. Mockery of the Italian people. But it's frickin' funny. Oh crap, stop swearing.

4. Snatches of Pink - Stag - Tooth

Comments: STP with more leather vests. Hmm. I'm not a fan. I'd recommend not buying this album. What do you think Jonelle? She's thinking the same thing. It's like we're musical twins.

Topics covered: Thanksgiving is lonely for vegetarians. And Jonelle doesn't even like squash! Television that sucks your life away: I watched a live police chase today. And sometimes I watch Entertainment Tonight. They have alot in common. We do some community announcements. We talk about the part of 'Reality Bites' where Janeane Garrrroflolo says 'pflag'. It's the only part of the movie I like.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

10 in the swear jar, Mr. Waits.

Track list:

1. 10 in the swear jar - accordion solo! - fort awesome drunk tank/helsabot

Comments: 'fort awesome' is basically spoken word, so, you know, bonus! Helsabot is apparently his name. He's an alcoholic robot, we think. And he wants to know if your pants ever just fall off. I love this. Everyone, I want this album for Christmas. My elderly relatives will LOVE it.

2. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - howl - sympathetic noose

Comments: I enjoy that this band is a big lie. They're a bit sad bastard, with an old-school sounding lazer-rock name. Jonelle says the song is okay. I agree. I think they might get kicked out of the club if they keep this whining up. Jonelle says she'd listen to this in a sunny apartment on a Sunday afternoon. That'll never happen.

3. Giant Drag - hearts and unicorns - high friends in places

Comments: All too real. Hmm. Music to stomp bugs to.

4. Bruce Cockburn - big circumstance - where the death squad lives

Comments: it's a classic, so it would be wrong to criticize. I've got to remember that this isn't a new album though, because that's just embarrassing. Jonelle loves it and is floored. I like the funky guitar.

5. Transparencies - transparencies - I'll quit if I want to

Comments: Ha, they're a Christian band. They're no Danielson Family... but then who is, really. Actually, it's not bad. You just have to try and ignore the no swearing, and focus on how it sounds recorded in a garage. These boys could teach Jessica Simpson a thing or two about how to claim to be religious and not flash your boobs drunkenly. They have the knack.

Important topics covered:
we're trapped in a supply closet, while everyone else is having free food at the AGM. Oh well, it's overrated. We're so alone, and we invite you to visit us. You don't. Coward. A debate on the sexiness of the female form vs. the male form that isn't really a debate. Men are funny when they're naked, not sexy. No, just funny. In fact, put a naked guy in a movie and you don't even need to tell jokes. The new proliferation of yoga makes for unfair standards of flexibility. No, I can't touch my forehead to my knee, jackass. Being a rabid Bruce Cockburn fan is difficult. But the name is undeniably funny.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

the snug jockeys

The Tracks:

1. Veronica Lipgloss & the Evil Eyes - bleed to the beat - The Witch's Dagger

Comments: um, yeah. Jonelle's ears are bleeding, does that count? She hates this band so much, she's covered their album with little hearts. Man, this sux, capital 'x'. My pick is coming up next though, so I'm trying to console myself with that.

2. The Magic Numbers - long legs - The Magic Numbers

Comments: This band is deliciously chubby. Jonelle feels uncomfortable with that comment - she's not saying anything, but I can tell by the squirming in the seat. I love this band - their music, their outfits, their long flowing hair. They consist of two brother and sister teams - wicked. They're like the white stripes times two, only happy and with more tambourine.

3. John Wilkes Booze - gonna die tonight - telescopic eyes glance the future sick

Comments: And... it's over.

4. Gravy Train - pussy sauce - Are you wigglin?

Comments: Aint nobody doesn't like this band. They're really dirty though. We were going to play 'hump lites', but due to an unscheduled itchy trigger finger, we're playing this one instead. So now guess who's going to have to announce the title of the track on the air. That's right, it's Jonelle. Because I am a prude.

5. The Sub Humans - life sure can suck - demo/ep

Comments: Grr. I love these three chord wonders. We'll see you next week peoples.

Topics covered: Growing Up Gotti - the chinchilla coat episode. Embarrassing events of the past week. The perils of reading - don't even ask. We've seen some weird movies this week. Listening to people doin' it in the apartment next door - it's a sport, like fishing. Our new band name: the snug jockeys. And we will dress as jockeys. Brilliant!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

pop violence

The Tracks:

1. Vailhalen - pop violence - We Fill the Cracks

comments: Like the bells. Other than that, meh. It's not 'tweaking Jonelle's nipples'. At least it's short.

2. The Belushis - Rich in Broken Glass - Ether Bunny

comments: Jonelle likes it two minutes in when the guy drunkenly scowls 'yeah!'. I'd have to agree. It's a bit sex pistols, which hey, it's been done, by, um, the sex pistols. But they've broken up, and that one guy is dead, so who's gonna complain. There's also a discussion here about what kind of ether they're talking about - we're going to have to agree to disagree.

3. Sunset Rubdown - Snake's got a leg - I'll believe in anything, you'll believe in anything

comments: It's like painful techno. Does it have a beat? Who knows. Wow, this man is wailing girlishly. I like it because it's awful. Jonelle just thinks it's awful. Next!

4. The Spicoli's - blood sweat and beers - blood sweat and beers

comments: Wow, spandex rock. Aside from the bad grammar... these guys suck. Just for the record, they're like an old, low budget Blink-182. I'm not a fan of Blink-182. Hey, have you seen the new Backstreet Boys video? This is the song that should go with that video.

5. Mon Electric Bijou - Bullets in the Penguin - Raging Queen

comments: Can you feel the rage? Neither can I. This is one sad bastardesque queen. Jonelle's not watching me so I'm going to say that I already love this track. In fact, if you're a fan of the misery rock with the sad, sad, badly-singing men, give this sucker a try. Could be a good wedding song if you're trying to get everyone to go home early.

Today's topics:
Emily crashes her bike again, pill swallowing for fun and profit, some community announcements, problems with communication, sleeping in cars, the Backstreet Boys, addicted to bad television.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Critically Ashamed

1. You Say Party, We Say Die - hit the floor - cold hands! hot bodies!

Comments: um, chanting. And man is this short. Their CD release party is happening Sept. 10th at Pat's Pub, 9pm. Alternately, on Sept. 11th at Mesa Luna at 7:30pm, granny.

2. Orange - welcome to the world of Orange - ghetto-blasta

Comments: I like this, and so does Jonelle. She says "sounds like Green Day... and I like Green Day." This is my pick. They just wanna scream and let it all out. Well who doesn't.

3. Escape Goats - Critically Ashamed - Hit me gently, in the head

Comments: This is a slo-mo ballad. Or, Jonelle says, a coma-ballad. Whatever, I love it because it's so appropriate, not to mention 5 minutes long. It also has some swearing in it, which is surprising, because this guy sounds so mild-mannered. Jonelle compares it to Marcy Playground, and she has kind of a snarky tone, so that can't be good. I kinda like it though - "who let the dogs out, I need the dogs in, how could you do this to me, someone chain them up again." Lyrical gold. Also, there are four stars in quotation marks on the album cover, which is nicely self-aggrandizing.

4. Neon Blonde - Neon Blonde - Headlines

Comments: We like the beat. This is kinda cool - like disjointed techno with an angry girl providing the vocals.

Topics discussed today:
Reality TV, judges, Bob Barker, Jonelle smokes badly, I ride my bike into a garage door and get clubbed in the head, I watch Malibu's Most Wanted; sadly, Jonelle's already seen that one. We're both lesser human beings for it.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Tonight's songs:

1. Crystal Pistol - Crystal Pistol - Watch You Bleed

Comments: Jonelle likes it. I think it's ass. But Jonelle also rightly adds, "for what we usually play, it's not that bad." There was some swearing, bad metal goths! But they look like five Jack Whites, which is okay. One of them is wearing a cowboy hat. Jonelle wishes it was more country. I concur. Some cowbell would help.

2. Tegan and Sara - 5 songs from the phoenix - I Bet it Stung

Comments: Sounds as good as the rest of their stuff. They look so frickin' the same, which is a major selling point. Simultaneously, probably not something Jonelle would buy. And she's wealthier than me, so you know I'm not shelling out. Jonelle also says it's like fluffy Ani DiFranco, but that they write their own songs, so clearly they have cred. I think here they mean 'stung' not so much in the insect sense, but in the 'rip out your heart and spit on it' sense. Jonelle had to explain it to me though.

3. Subcity Dwellers - Out on the Streets - Tension

Comments: Ska-nkalicious. The great thing about ska is that it puts people who should never be singers to work as... singers. Unemployment rate down, check! If only that could be repeated in other industries, think of the chaos. Jonelle says ska is the easiest thing to dance to - move alot, move a little, it's all good.

4. Doomeastvan - You Will Die - You Will Die

Comments: Satan, good? Interesting theological question. I'd hazard no. I believe this is audio art. Jonelle was enchanted by the "joy down in my heart part", but she's not so attached to the highway noise part of the track. After that there's more speed metal, with growly-voice, ominous proclamations of doom. Poor East Van. Jonelle says this is much like the Cannibal Corpse show she went to, only that was three hours, not nine minutes. Her favourite part of the concert? "This one's for the ladies. F***ed, by a knife!" Aww. How sweet. Great Caesar's molasses, another three freaking minutes of this? Well, whatever it takes to please the audience.

5. Manikin - Still - Monkey Blood

Comments: Guitaaaar! I like it. There's nothing bad about men who totally can't sing. I also like the call-and-answer style of it. Sounds like they're playing in a culvert. It's very hip. Very now.

Topic list, to be explained later:
Clue: the movie; it rules.
Country music, artists love it when they age.
The wasp attack.
Pink massagers/leotards/rub-downs.
East Van is awesome. Shut up; it is.
Embarrassing crushes. Keanu, sex machine. That's all I have to say about that.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

When no one's listening I have so much to say.


It's been ages since I wrote anything here, and with good reason. My life is an unchanging sea of 'working for the man'. Which is not nice, but tolerable. As long as I get my rent paid on Friday.

Anyway, since this internet loser palace is woefully unused, it's time to, um, un-unuse it. So I'm going to start using it for Singing with Barbra re-caps.

Next week.

And I'll tell you why. Because this week, I have no freaking clue what we talked about. None. Off the air, Jonelle told me that she'd seen Catwoman, and that it did indeed suck as much as the critics promised. Damn, I hate it when they're right. We played some songs, including a track by The Feminists. I don't even remember if it was good, but I don't think it was bad, either. We did some community announcements. Something about the humane society. Oh, there were dogs in the studio - Brandy and Lou(cifer) - the latter holds the title "Barbra .5". He's small. That was pretty distracting. Most of the show I was spitting out floaty hair. So it was "hi, pfeh, this is CJSF, pfbbt, you're pah, listening..." That's some beautiful broadcasting right there.

The one thing I'll say about university radio is that despite the militant attempts to impose professionalism, the constant jack-booting around the station, even the stink eye through short, $4 haircut - we suck and there's nothing anyone can do about it. As much as they fight us, they fight in vain. To some, we're like a tiny, persistent rash. But we'll never be painfully humourless jerks, and that we'll promise you faithfully. It's our credo. Everybody needs one. I need several, but that's beside the point.

But enough of the political claptrap. I'm going to go back to eating my ice cream straight out of the tub, and I'll assault you some more next week. Tuesday, 7-8pm p.s.t., www.cjsf.ca.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Dear Reader's Digest quotable quotes...

I found this one last night:

Marlon Brando says...
"I'm not fat by nature. I got fat mostly because I loved
brownies, ice cream and everything else that makes you fat.
One reason for this, I suspect, is that when I was a kid,
I'd come home to find my mother gone and dishes in the
sink. I'd feel low and open the icebox, and there would be
an apple pie, along with some cheese, and the pie would
say: 'C'mon, Marlon, take me out. I'm freezing in here. Be
a pal and take me out, and bring out Charlie Cheese too.'
Then I'd feel less lonely."

This one is from Canoe, this morning.

Shirley Manson says...
"[Butch Vig] is Mr. Consistent, he's always the same, neither up nor down; he's a real sweetheart. But the three of us are up and down like a bride's nightie."

Oh internets, I heart u.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Mitchell Hedberg

"I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly..."

The other person in the world who thinks that way about words is dead. That's a sad thing.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

just before I forget...

I always forget that the answer is 42. So in case I forget again, here it is, forever enshrined.

The meaning of life is 42.

Now I can make smartass remarks in relative comfort. Ahhh.

The coolest phrase in the world.

Recently I was cataloguing my DVD collection, and I wrote the sentence that I've since realised is probably the coolest one in the world. Or at least, it's as cool as a sentence can be. Here it is:

"Steve McQueen evades Nazis on a motorbike."

It's possible I'm just not that imaginative. But if it gets cooler than that, maybe I don't want to know about it. The results might just blow my mind.