Jonelle's favourite song of all time is...

Track list:

1. Rammstein - mein teil

Comments: Seriously, this wasn't my idea. Actually it wasn't Jonelle's idea either - she was going to play benzine. This was an accident. In fact, I think you, and I and Jonelle and the band should all wipe this one from our histories and move on. P.S. - have I mentioned before that he's talking about his "part"? Oh, it's disgusting.

2. Shapes and Sizes - shapes and sizes - boy, you shouldn't have

Comments: We'll be the judge of that! Actually, this is really good. It's a little bit alt-country, a little bit nerd-rock n' roll. The magic combination that feels so right. I like the chorus in the background, they're like the supremes!

3. Swearing at Motorists - last night becomes this morning - you will not die tonight (probably)

Comments: Driving guitar, high horror-movie vocals... fabulous.

4. Pink Mountaintops - axis of evol - slaves

Comments: I'm not going to lie to you, I'm playing this because it's an eight minute long song, and Jonelle is very ill and can't 'perform', if you see what I'm saying. And what I'm saying is that she can't comfortably sit in a chair, you perv.
Oh, and Pink Mountaintops? I love this guy. This song is a bit reminiscent of the Vietnam War... not that I've been. But I've heard it's super hot and goes well with hard drugs and Creedence Clearwater Revival. I don't know how else to explain it.

5. Turnstiles - 13 telephone towers - my town is on fire

Comments: I love it. The piano thing is always a bonus. It's frenetic. I really believe that his town is on fire. He's selling it, that's for sure.

6. Red Lights - unlucky genes - whisky and failure

Comments: It's a song about my retirement plan, ba-dump ching!

socan week!

Track list:

1. NOFX - never trust a hippy - you're wrong

Comments: I agree. Stop putting the hookers in jail! Also, did anyone really ever think that punk rock and politics don't mix? Or even that this song is punk rock? Hm. The questions just keep popping up. Seriously, dammit, stop with the acoustic guitar!! I am not linking to your website, you deserve no such attention.

2. Islands - return to the sea - rough gem

Comments: I am totally in love with this song. It's sort of a hipster sea shanty. Seriously, we looove it. (p.s. - you can get it for free at 3hive)

3. Maybe Smith - second best death - choking, kicking, screaming

Comments: The 'your call cannot be completed as dialed' intro is cool. And here comes the echo-ed slide guitar. Maybe, 20 seconds in and you're already great.

4. Cat Power - the greatest - living proof

Comments: I have to say that this album is excellent. Remarkably un-suicidal. Seriously, I'm shocked by the distinct lack of abject misery.

5. Islands - return to the sea - don't call me whitney, bobby

Comments: We had to come back to it, because it's ridiculously great. Jonelle has cousins named Bobbi and Whitney. Of course they're both girls, but it's still hilarious.

horrible, horrible song

Track list:

1. The Aldous Orwell Project - Cow - Ballad of the Bad

Comments: Oh, holy suck. Sheryl Crow could probably sue, but that might be too embarrassing.

2. Matthew Sweet - High School Reunion (compilation) - American Girl

Comments: Tom Petty is my favourite, and this is one of my favourite Tom Petty songs. Also, I believe he's dragging his decrepid ass out on tour this summer. If he comes here, I'm so going. Oh yeah, and Matthew Sweet, he's great too.

3. Ham - Comrades Demand Conquest - Slave Wage

Comments: I like the choral effect. If possible, get everyone to sing at once. It makes for a nice 'everbody' effect. Wow, suddenly they've cranked it up a notch. Usually I object - it's so system of a suck - but this time I don't mind. Really I kind of like it. It seems sincere. Ham, we're confused, but it's a good kind of confused.

4. Bossanova - "Hey Sugar" - In the Immortal Words of You

Comments: Apart from the scare they gave us ten seconds in, when everything cut out and we thought we had dead air, they're excellent. A little bit quiet, but that's not a bad thing. Oh, and now it's picking up. The organ is boss. Hey, they're on Teenbeat records, that's awesome.

5. Pink Mountaintops - Axis of Evol - Plastic Man, You're the Devil

Comments: Just love this guy. He's so diverse. And multi-talented. And this music is kind of folky and sounds like it could be played to great effect in an open car on a slow moving train, with a half-naked guy named Pete on mouth-harp. Who knows why. Art is so fickle that way.

wall-to-wall red shag carpet

Tracks:

1. The Lollipop People - we need a new f-word - Mature Fruit

Comments: I know Mr. Dressup is dead, but do you have to sing it that way? It was like losing him all over again. I don't know if I can handle it. It sounds like traditional Japanese music with odd pop culture lyrics. Hmm.

2. Red Shag Carpet - lift and drop - So and So

Comments: This is a song I already like and have listened to repeatedly. You should do the same. They have other good songs too, unlike your average band these days. Seriously, what is with that? Two good songs on an album and the rest of it is just repetitive crap. It's like a global conspiracy.

3. Saint Dirt Elementary School - fall (in love) by april - Every Day I Fall in Love

Comments: It's like finely crafted elevator music. Oddly enough, I love it. So smoothly lo-fi. So jazzily sleepy. If I was desperately stressed out I would put this on and it would just mellow me right out, like a smothering shiatsu massage.

4. The Ladies - they mean us - Empathy on a Stick

Comments: It's short, and just experimental enough to be odd. Also, it's pretty good! Plus who could lose with a title like that. Not to mention, the lady singing sounds an awful lot like a man.

5. Run Chico Run - slow action - Old Men's Clothes

Comments: This has some super cute piano. Woohoo!

Anyone in a band is automatically cool.

Track list:

1. MC Lars - Escape from Robot Island

Comments: so lame it's awesome. Nerd self-indulgence. Thankyou babs #3.

2. They Shoot Horses Don't They? - boo hoo hoo boo - the bugs

Comments: The album title alone... I love this, it's so carnivalesque, plus the yelling, and the horns... Love it, love it, love it.

3. John P. Strohm - high school reunion - somebody's baby

Comments: This song gets an automatic in, because we're getting the idea that this whole cd is fricking awesome. It might not have the most artistic merit ever, but who the hell cares. Also, this song is really good. He's like Tom Petty Jr. I love Tom Petty with a violent passion, and I think the world could use a few more of him.

4. The Robocop Kraus - they think they are the robocop kraus - life amazes us despite our miserable future

Comments: Wow, four for four! This is also really good, and I like the theme. It's uplifting for someone like me. They sure know their audience.

5. Knock Knock Ginger - hurry! - looks and books

Comments: A mellow end to a most excellent show. Listen to this if you'd like to slowdance with yourself, in your own living room, with a sad expression on your face. Aww. Well, at least you don't have to be ashamed of your awesome musical taste!

the high school guidance counsellors

Track list:

1. Cat Power - the greatest - lived in bars

Comments: What a surprise, she's lived in bars. Don't look for her in your neighbourhood anytime soon, she's scared of you.

2. Red Shag Carpet - lift and drop - starve your film

Comments: Hey, they sound a bit like Rusty, and I like it. Jonelle is also entranced. I like the part when they all sing together - so kicky.

3. Neko Case - fox confessor brings the flood - star witness

Comments: Jazzy. Not really, but anything to get her to come to town, I guess. I like the sound of the recording, it's always like it's been recorded in some kind of bat-filled cave. So atmospheric.

4. Kind of Like Spitting - one hundred dollar room - pick a town, find a box, live alone

Comments: If the title of this song were any more hilarious, it would mirror my life exactly. As it is, we're not going to be suing anyone for plagiarism. Count yourselves lucky boys. It's a bit slow, but I think it's okay. Jonelle would like to hear more from the album, because 45 minutes of this would cause anyone to adopt a small dog and ride the rails in a coat full of holes. Or something equally depressing.

5. I love you but I've chosen darkness - fear is on our side - lights

Comments: Our music director loves this band name. Plus, he has a nice new haircut. Which makes him qualified to judge, we think.

oh neko

Tracks of the week:

1. Neko Case - fox confessor brings the flood - Margaret vs. Pauline

Comments: we love this, of course. Margaret is an antelope, and Pauline is a snow-goose. We can tell you that definitively, because we've been fans for so long. We know how she works.

2. Supersuckers - Tribute to Cash - mean eyed cat

Comments: I like it, and so does Jonelle. We're really just so relieved that it's better than the beverly killbillies cover we played a few weeks ago. Man, that sucked.

3. The Wading Girl - high school reunion (various) - Danke Schoen

Comments: Absolutely love this. I think we're going to play quite a few songs from this CD today. It's so frickin good.

4. Guillermo Verdecchia - the terrible but inclomplete journals of john d.

Comments: not bad, just stupidly long. It's like 35 minutes long! What the hell. But it's Canadian, so wave your little flag and be proud, because it's government funded.

5. Underdog - high school reunion - I melt with you

Comments: Jonelle's favourite 80s song of all time. For good reason too, this song rules the night with an iron fist.

6. Frank Black - high school reunion - repo man

Comments: has Frank Black ever done anything bad? Shut up, that's a rhetorical question. Careful, he'll punch you, and he wears some wicked jewel-encrusted rings. So you know that's gonna hurt.

branola

Track List:

1. Dandi Wind - concrete igloo - einsteinbrains

Comments: I'm doing the robot! Behind a synthesizer! This is pretty hilarious.

2. Boymerang - various: check the water - The Don

Comments: Soothing.

3. Sleddogs - great escape - do not love me carefully

Comments: This is heartfelt. And we agree with the message. Fight! Fight! Fight!

4. Lilys - everything wrong is imaginary - black carpet magic

Comments: ow ow ow! Well, the beginning is very abrupt. It has a 'wall of sound' quality to it.

5. Alexander MacSween - fortner anderson six silk purses - As I Stand

Comments: uck, bye!

don't rock the boat!

Track list:

1. Do the Hustle

Comments: whoops. This isn't the right song. Oh well, we'll play the right one later. Ha.

2. The Dan Band - Live - Tyrone

Comments: This is my favourite song on this CD, although Jonelle apparently doesn't like it so much. We're so different, which is, I think, why we're so complimentary. Oh, but it's true.

3.The Buttless Chaps - where night holds light - blanket of pain

Comments: worth it for the album art alone. So beautiful. We do love you, Buttless Chaps. Also, this song is very good. It's a bit Morrissey-ish, but with a girl in it. That's always a plus. Ooh, and the mariachi accents.

4. Young and Sexy - panic when you find it - without your love

Comments: I like the idea behind this band name. I'm going to start a band called "slim and attractive", because I think false advertising is always a good idea. Or how about "nobel prize winner and fabulously wealthy". Oh, wait, you'd like to know if the song is good? I like it. How's that?

5. Carsick - carsick - old yellow

Comments: hmm, boring.

6. The Hues Corporation - rock the boat

Comments: this is your favourite song of all time.

olympic-style excellence

1. The Diableros - you can't break the strings in our olympic hearts - Olympic Island

Comments: This is the song where they got the title of the album. I know that much. They kind of sound like the Walkmen, but since I love the Walkmen, I like this song too. Jonelle says 'not bad', which is a resounding mark of approval.

2. Existential Angst Party - existential angst party - I'm too romantic

Comments: lives up to its billing. The violins are a nice touch.

3. Beverly Killbillies - Dear Johnny (Cash tribute) - Wanted Man

Comments: oh no, not good.

4. Silent Film Soundtrack - diplomats and confidants - lights out (murder)

Comments: hm, this comes highly recommended. It's not bad. There aren't many chords in it, but sometimes too many chords just confuse things. It makes me a little bit nervous, what with the driving beat.

5. Boycrusher - sometimes a man... - lucky lady

Comments: our last song. We haven't heard it yet, but it's truly a masterpiece.

love love love

1. Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash - dear johnny: a tribute - the long black veil

2. Boycrusher - sometimes a man... - dance the night away

3. The Beatings - holding on to hand grenades - remedial math rock

4. Books on Tape - dinosaur dinosaur - kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten surprise

wind, rain, bad hair

Tracks:

1. Matt Murphy/Michael Mabbott - Bring it Back Home - friend of the devil

Comments: If we liked alt-country (aka country for intellectual snobs) any more, we'd be married to it and copulating like rabbits. It's that bad. So we love this stuff, it's great.

2. Daisy Spot - daisy spot - see dick drive

Comments: More country, and I think we all know what that means.

3. Albatross Note - the art of lodge tapes - in the morning

Comments: oh my god, the little man on one side of the cover has a gigantic wanger. Oh, so does his little friend facing him! I don't know what it means, but we enjoy this game of 'spot the hidden penis'.

4. Go Go Go Airheart - rats! sing! sing! - shake it off

Comments: meh. I don't mind it so much, Jonelle thinks it blows, so it gets a 'meh'.

1. Thomas and the Evil Computer - Math Teachers Count - why I can't have nice things

Comments: wow, this is actually awesome, which is odd, because usually we only feature horrible music on this show. The computer aspect is so boss, we loooove it.

2. Metric - Live it Out - too little too late

Comments: like I say, this album, in my opinion, takes what they normally do about six steps further and just makes it more interesting. I liked the last album, but I don't think I would've bought it. I'm on a budget, people. Anyway, Jonelle loves this album too. Maybe we could split a copy and organize some sort of joint-custody arrangement.

3. Dandy Warhols - Odditorium/Warlords of Mars - love is the new feel awful

Comments: it's pretty self-indulgent, but who cares, it's 9 minutes of experimental alt-rock, or something, and those are valuable airtime minutes.

4. The Wolfnote - sacred bodies - get them out

Comments: crap!

5. DOA - war on 45 - smash the state

Comments: If we didn't love this, someone would hurt us. Luckily, we do, because we could never tell a lie.

madly lobbing panties

Track list:

1. Portico - shape to form - good ladies go to good graves

Comments: I enjoy this. The woman's voice is very yeah yeah yeahs, and I like that. Jonelle says, not bad, good background music, but she wouldn't throw her panties. That's a shame.

2. Twin Fangs - street sweeper - more can go wrong

Comments: angsty title, angsty song. No wait! Sudden excitement! AAAAH! It's like that vestibules grunge song. Jonelle says it's 'zippy'. She's liking it.

3. Mr. Something Something - the edge - sound the alarm

Comments: sort of brassy/ska-esque. They're obviously hipsters, but we'll try to see past that.

4. The Constantines - tournament of hearts - hotline operator

Comments: it's building slowly. First it's just drums and voice, now there's a guitar too, oh suddenly the guitar and voice are gone... hmm, pretentiously delicious. I like the yelling part too. Also, I don't think hotline operators have enough heartfelt anthems to choose from, so this is good. Telephone professionals are much maligned, and they need more props. And they would get more props too, if they'd suck less and stop calling me at home.

5. Fun 100 - hit it & quit - computer

Comments: conventional 80s revival. It's fine. I think the lyrics are a bit violent, oh wait, this bit sounds like moist. hmm. I feel high school flooding back at me. Gotta go.

can I borrow a feeling?

Track list:

1. Rick Moranis - It's the Champagne Talking - The Agoraphobic Cowboy

Comments: "Sounds like Milhouse's dad" was one comment. It's a whole song about holidays, and the booze appropriate to each one. It's charmingly naive. Plus I like the glasses.

2. Country Church vs. The Crotch Rockets - Sneaky Roach - Telescope

Comments: voice effects! voice effects! Jonelle doesn't like it. I think it's harmless, but I wouldn't play it at my wedding. I might play it at Jonelle's wedding though.

3. Bruce McCulloch - Answering Machine

Comments: pure gold. That is all.

4. The Walkmen - The Rat

Comments: this is a good bathroom break song. Jonelle's taking advantage of that right now. In the meantime, I'm going to take the opportunity to tell you that I love this song. I think it's super great. I don't really know what it's about. Possibly a bad roommate. Nonetheless, it's excellent.

And that's all. See you next week kids.

five more sleeps

Track list:

1. Innerstance Beatbox - your eyes are like ufos my darling - theme from the bastard squad

Comments: woop, six minutes long.

2. Modernettes - get it straight - barbra

3. Pretty train crash - pretty train crash - taste you

4. Secret Mommy - very rec - ice rink

Comments: this is completely odd. But it has a beat, and I can dance to it! Then again, let's face it... I can dance to anything. But anyway, yes, this is so cool. It must have taken ages to do, and it's actually

5. Virgin Prunes - Pagan Lovesong - DJ Morpheus I can't live without my radio

Comments: who cares, I'm only playing this to mock DJ Morpheus for his matrix-inspired name. But we have been told that this album is totally awesome by our music director, so you know, maybe it's good. But we'll never know. It's the morpheus factor.

Bo Didley Squat

Track List:

1. The Reatards - Not Fucked Enough - Pretty Baby

Comments: I like this, but I can't understand the lyrics at all. We were hoping to be offended, but I guess that's not going to happen. Oh wait, he's leaving her... he has to move on. I see the light! Anyway, it's deliciously low-fi. As in really bad. Jonelle says it sounds like he's getting run over by a car.

2. Didley Squat - burning alive making a living - my better half

Comments: My first thoughts: what the bloody ass is this? Jonelle likes it though. I don't think it's road trip listenable. Obviously they're very serious about their art, and you have to respect that. Or else.

3. Modernettes - get it straight - barbra

Comments: I really like this, even if they did misspell barbra. In fact, this goes straight into the track list for the end of year best-of show. No wait, they spelled it right! We love you so much, Modernettes.

4. Funkservice International - a post modern life - life is good

Comments: Ooh, this would be great if I owned more turtlenecks and was lighter on my feet. Since I'm a lumbering jackass, it's not something I'll be listening to at home. I do like it though, in a voyeuristic kind of way.

the loud "whoops" of incompetence

It came to my attention yesterday that I had quite an exclusive deal going regarding the comments section of this blog. In that nobody could use it. Sorry about that. Anyway, now it's been fixed, so feel free to abuse the comments feature to your heart's content, provided you're not trying to sell us 'old man boner-pills' (I hear that's what the kids are calling them these days). We don't need boners, and we don't have access to any old men who need them either, so just back off. I hope that's the last time I'll have to scold you about that.

chicken critical

Catch of the day:

1. The Teeth - carry the wood - mercy mercy pudding pie

Comments: 10 minutes! Yesssss. Wow, this has some cool country style sounds to it. It's so bizarre, we love it. It's sort of the whiner's lament. Which might be a bit redundant, but whatever. It's actually a bit drunken, so that's nice too. Sort of a 'why won't anyone call me, I'm such a loser' vibe, and who can't relate to that. Well, you know who those people are, and let's face it, it's easier to just avoid contact with them. So damn optimistic all the time. Annoying. I also cite the Kinks as an inspiration for this band. Bigtime.

2. Beef Terminal - anger do not enter - no robbers no kidnappers no fires no floods

Comments: Ahh, hipsters. Does it mean airports, some sort of cow airport, or is it about dying cattle? Or that the meat will kill you? The mystery is killing me. Seriously, is this completely instrumental? It's certainly very sad. I bet they're from Toronto and have rich parents and very little reason to be sad. But some of the saddest people are people who are sad because they aren't sad enough. They're called 'artists', and every once in a while you meet one, up here, at the university. Aww. That was insulting.

3. The Subliminator - recalibrated - forbidden fruit

Comments: I know what you're thinking. What the cornpone is this? Shut up, it's brilliant. You have now been indoctrinated into a cult. It's the cult of poor audio editing skills, which isn't exactly prolific, but it consists of a ridiculously huge and diverse brotherhood. my brain! my brain! i'm not accustomed to the pain!

4. Controller Controller - x-amounts - poison/safe

Comments: woo hoo, I like this song. Jonelle likes it too. It's not about venus, I hear some musical tones I recognize but not in an overly formulaic way, nobody seems overly sad. In fact, it's girls acting tough. I love songs with tough-guy posturing, especially when it's women striking the pose. It's sort of a Nancy Sinatra, these boots are made for walking thing, but for the now. More overtly angry, which is fine.

All done. Slap. Slap. Time to go home.

3 and a half hours sweet hours

Until utter meltdown. Hello! Tonight is our show. We will be talking about a variety of things. Like getting in trouble at work for having a lax attitude and strolling in ten minutes late every day for a year! Or more! I think I deserve a ribbon for avoiding a scolding for this long. It's a record worthy of Guinness, or possibly something stronger which will now dull my embarrassment. I don't mind getting in trouble, but formulating my excuses in front of people? That's so obvious! They can see me doing it! Look to the left, stammer, look to the left...
I have to also say that this is our last November show, which means it's the end of a (very short) era. So you should listen - listening is vital! Anything could happen!
#1 will probably have some very important things to tell you, maybe regarding when your Christmas catalogues are coming in the mail. I keep myself on a strict regimen of flyers for the whole month, to distract myself from my caloric intake, so if I don't get my army and navy catalogue today, somebody's going to hear about it! Thankfully, babs 1 stays on top of these things, so that no one has to get violent.
I'm sure there are some other important things for us to talk about, but we'll work that out when we're up against the wire. It all flows so quickly that way.